Random but what if dazai had loving parents and just decided to join the pm cuz he was bored of life and Hella smart and one day his parents just pop up like "osamu...when are you gonna stop telling people we abandoned you..." and he's like "Ah...so you heard about that" and they're like eyes twitching and annoyed "yea...many times...in many magazines! Thanks BTW! Christmas dinner was awkward last couple of years" 😭😭😭