One last post. Apologies that I went back on that word, but this is the very last one.

I’d like to say that Norton and I are friends again. There’s a lot we’ve talked about, and we’re growing together continuously. I debated making this post for a long time because I do not want to weaponize my friendship with her or make it seem as though I use her for self gratification; Norton is dear to me and I’m so glad she has taken a chance on me again! Being able to get to know her all over again and learn on this journey with her is amazing.

My point isn’t expressing that my victim has forgiven me and therefore am absolved of any wrongdoings I’ve done [I was never a groomer or shotacon in the first place, so…], but rather that I WAS wrong, and I did do hurtful and wrong things, but that doesn’t change the fact that change and growth is something we are all capable of!

If possible, I’d like to be made in contact with the owner of Tumblr.com/Shotakoa, so they can update that blog with this if anything. But I also understand that for many I am not deserving of such. That’s okay. I just wanted to let this be made clear in some way, in public, while I work away at my rentries.

I still don’t want to be in the public eye again, especially not any time soon. I’m not joining public spaces either. However, I’m not as paranoid as I was when I made that first post.

Thank you to everyone who read it and reads this one. I will continue healing, and I’ll continue moving forward. May you all do the same.

Hi. Since I’m back “online”, I thought I’d say a last couple of things.

Really, I’m not ‘back online’ at all, nor am I trying to “rebrand”, as apparently people have been claiming. I’m not trying to have a presence on SNS at all. I’m not making any more public accounts, I was going to delete my Tumblrs but I have some things I’d like to keep archiving, so once I can finally archive those, they’ll be gone [Mainly graphics, plus I think MOGAI archival is very important and I want to keep my terms somewhere safe]. No one should have any worry that I’ll ‘come back’ in any capacity, because I’m not interested in content creation or SNS at the moment. I’m only making rentries because I’d like to keep my URLs and making graphics is still a hobby.

As for anything previously on this account — I saved everything I needed to save. I also saved what Norton told me, so that I can remember it and think about it [ A lot more, but proof ]. Deleting it isn’t an attempt to cover up anything I’ve done or run away, it was simply because I’m no longer the same person I was when I started this account two years ago.

The last eight months, I have been thinking deeply on the sort of person I am and how I have affected those who once knew me and currently know me. I fully admit I was manipulative, neglectful, self—centered, rash, ill—tempered, and two—faced. I fully admit I mistreated Norton while he(? Apologies, I don’t keep up) was age—regressed. I don’t have an excuse for that, and never did. I won’t say I groomed him, after many conversations with my therapist and showing her directly what Norton has said, because that would’ve required planning, secrecy (Many people daily saw the mistreatment—even abuse—I put him through), awareness and time I did not have. We had a six month gap in our friendship due to events in January 2023, and even then I had a curfew of nine p.m., his age regression wasn’t something I could’ve planned or incited due to it being because he integrated with a different alter, and more, but I’m not here to talk about what I’ve discussed in therapy. Norton's free to think of my abuse however he’d like, that’s not my decision to make, I was simply clarifying this.

I’d like to apologize to Reona here too. I had falsely claimed that she had spread dangerous pictures of me. It’s important to note that I fully believed she did when I had said it. I did not learn the truth until police were called to my house and they had gone through my device. I apologize for the stress I caused Reona due to my paranoia.
As for the one who actually spread it; I wasn’t going to press legal action even if I could, and you shouldn’t worry about your parents being aware of anything you’ve done. You’ve broken my trust, but that was my fault for being so naïve. I’m sorry you had to be involved with me. I hope you’re happy, lemon.

While I was gone, I had gotten a crush confession. It seems stupid to mention, but I want to respond as they seemed to hope for one. To them: This is a firm rejection. You had hoped to be friends, but that isn’t possible. I’m sorry, and I hope you’re healthy — I’d speak to a professional about the reasons why you crush on people, since it’d only put you in danger.

If anyone wanted to speak for any reason, I’m afraid that won’t be possible. I’m putting a hard foot down on any sort of communication or building a community. To past and ex friends, thank you for the memories. To past and ex members of any community I was part of, thank you for helping me grow my skills. Thank you to everyone who taught me a lesson.

Finally, I’d like to give back to the community a little bit. I made a playlist — Zhebelev’s Day In RecoveryLand — with the purpose of sharing songs that helped me learn something / I had previously gatekept. I’ve been thinking of adding a list of manga I previously gatekept (The theme on Engagekiss is “Until Your Sword Breaks”) but that will take quite a while. I am going to make a rentry with a list of both of these things. They’ll be on my more popular URLs, so I won’t need to announce them or anything. I know I’ve turned over a new leaf and I don’t need anyone to believe me.

I think that’s all. I won’t be using this as a social media and this will be my last public appearance ever. Thank you for reading.

Thank you for wanting to learn more! Everyone’s always a beginner 〜 There is so much knowledge in this world to be found, even professionals are still learning! Fret not, little song!

01.) Law of Attraction ＝ You attract what you think about, Law of Assumption ＝ Reality is based off of what you assume. They go very hand~in~hand. Because what you think about is what you assume, your reality is often stuck there. But instead of changing how you think right away, change what you assume first! Do not assume people have bad intentions, do not assume people have bad thoughts about you. Assume that there is goodness in everyone’s hearts first, and it’ll change how you think over time.

02.) Yes, and some people would recommend it. I personally do not (even though I do it) as it may cause anxiety / restlessness while trying to manifest ー you don’t really need a technique at all, it’s just a tool to help you believe in yourself! So, do what you need to believe in yourself, but don’t get lost in the process. You already have what you desire after all.

03.) You can, but I also find it takes away focus for me … If you’re good at multitasking, it’ll be easier, but I’m not … Kyahaha!

I hope this could help ♡︎

Hehe, you’re really that curious?

It isn’t that special … I woke up, put on a Valentine’s Day themed outfit (Black & Pink dark coquette — black bloomers with pink ribbons that I scrunched into a skirt, black crop top with little frills at the end, and a pink cardigan to not get dress coded!) 〜 I got many (17) compliments at school! On the way home, after much contemplating, I confessed to my crush … ♡︎ I’ve liked him a long time, but couldn’t really describe the feelings I had for him until recently! I immediately regretted it because for the first time in a while, I thought he’d reject me. He didn’t! We’re happy 〜 ♥︎ I spent time with my partners I was already dating too of course, my mother got me some of my favorite and I did plenty of chores …

I’m just very happy I got to tell my love how I felt! And that he feels the same! It gives me terrible cuteness aggression, & its’ surprised me by completely reading my mind a couple of times today, fufu … He has an inactive retro but if it sees this, I love you ૮꒰ ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ྀི꒱ა My sweet ceal! Kyahaha

I hope yours could be pleasant, Anon!