the scaredy cat · 11d
Hi, Sia. Just checking up on you. How's 2025 treating your life so far?
As I’m writing this to you, I suddenly think of butterflies & sunflowers. For some people, butterflies might seem gross since they come from caterpillars, but... every time I see a butterfly, I get so happy because their wings are all so different from e/o, from dark to bright colors. I think that makes them really unique. They get to fly freely in the air w/ their beautiful wings, but before they can enjoy that freedom, they have to go through metamorphosis. They hang in the hot & cold air, fight through tough times for that freedom. I hope one day you can be like a butterfly. We all go through a process to grow. I’m sure you’ve been working hard, & I hope one day you can fly freely around the world, just like a butterfly, but I also hope your life lasts way longer than a butterfly’s. So, you can enjoy the hard work you've done.
Talking about sunflowers, have you ever thought about visiting a sunflower garden? Nowadays, there are some places w/ sunflower fields as tourist spots. I really enjoy seeing sunflowers in full bloom. They look so beautiful because they grow together in a field. I wonder if sunflowers are called sunflowers because they always try to find sunlight to grow? That’s why sunflowers grow upwards, following the sun? For me, the yellow color of sunflowers gives off such a positive vibe. I think you're like a sunflower, someone who can spread good energy & happiness to others. I hope I’m not the only one who thinks that. I’m not being flirty, but I’m really happy to have met you because you’re so funny. Sunflowers can also make others happy when they see them bloom, right? I’d be happy to see your growth too, like how you’re treating yourself better than you did before. Yk, that’s def’ a step forward in becoming a better version of yourself.
Your answer was really genius. I feel the same way, life can’t always be 100% great. That’s why, I hope happiness always finds its way to you & you’re always surrounded by good people. Btw, I’m happy to hear you're treating yourself better than before. I hope your love for yourself continues to grow. So, you’ll prioritize yourself over others. Don’t feel sorry if you can't help or be the best for someone else. We need to prioritize our own self.
Thank you, Sia. I'll be manifesting all the good words from you, hoping they become a reality in my life. I wish the same for you too. Yeah, I feel like all Sagittarians should thank you because you’ve left such a good impression on me, LOL. My zodiac is Virgo too, I was born in early September, just a few days apart from your bias, Felix. You don’t need to feel bad or disappointed in yourself since I don’t think I’ve ever talked about zodiac signs w/ you before. Actually, this is my first time telling you that my zodiac is Virgo.
Idk whose idea it was for The Boyz to cosplay as princess, but I think it’s pretty creative since it catches people’s attention. I really hope the new agency treats them way better than the last one. So, Sangyeon doesn’t have to worry so much about leaving the kids for military service. I also hope you’ll still get to see The Boyz live at their next world tour, no matter where it is. I really hope you get to watch them perform in person.
Wow, I'm so happy for you. I'm glad to hear your story. Tbvh, you’re really good at storytelling. Has anyone ever said that to you? I can feel how excited you’re eventho it's just text. If I were you, I’d probably feel the same way. It must feel unbelievable that the idol you've only seen on screen is actually right in front of you.
I'm glad you described Felix w/ so many kind words, you even got a bit confused. That just proves Felix is such a good person. You genuinely care for him so much. Felix deserves to have a fan like you. Tbvh, I was unsure about sending this because I know something happened to Felix. You must be feeling sad, right? I'm so sorry to hear that, Sia. I’m hoping for Felix’s quick recovery. All the members, their families, staff, & fans must be really worried, but I’m 1000000% sure he’ll recover soon because he’s such a good person. I’m sure when the time comes, he’ll be able to perform amazingly in front of y’all.
I agree w/ you. All of Stray Kids' songs are amazing. Their energy on stage is seriously no joke. Besides that, the sound & stage props are really well-planned. It's no surprise that Stray Kids is gaining more & more fans. I love it when fans jump around during Stray Kids' performances. That means the fans are really enjoying the concert.
Yeah, I think 3RACHA deserves the title of 4th gen leaders because their rank in KOMCA is also high eventho Stray Kids is part of the 4th gen group. Ah, I can understand how you feel. Maybe you wanna cry because you can’t believe how far they’ve come, but in the end, they got what they deserved for all that hard work, right? I’m sure 3RACHA’s talent has been amazing from the start. Now, many people are recognizing their talent & supporting them. It’s all about timing. They’ve proven that they deserve appreciation, support, & even love from around the world.
Oh, I see. So, your bias wrecker is Changbin. That means my prediction was wrong, LOL. I still can’t really imagine it because I’ve never seen him in person. I know he’s really buff, but I thought at least Bangchan’s arms would be bigger than Changbin’s, but it seems like rn Changbin’s arms are bigger than Bangchan’s? Tbvh, Changbin's personality is so cute. I mean, he’s warm-hearted. Besides that, he’s not shy to do aegyo or dance to cute & cheerful GG choreos. I love how Changbin always does dance challenges w/ other groups whenever Stray Kids has a comeback. He always nails all the choreo. I don’t mean to say other male idols’ dancing is bad, but I hope yk what I mean. I love Changbin's energy when he dances, whether it’s BB or GG choreo.
I'll write down all the songs you've recommended for me. Thank you for recommending those songs. I've already listened to some of them after you suggested them. Tbvh, I've been loving Star Lost since it was released. The funniest thing is, I really like Felix's part:
"You got me feeling star lost, star lost..."
That's Felix’s voice, right? Am I right? Sorry if I'm wrong, but I swear I can hear Felix's voice there. Star Lost is one of my favorite b-sides from the NOEASY album, along w/ Gone Away. I'm so happy that some of the songs you like match my taste. I love Cover Me & Youtiful. Those songs were my comfort songs when I was feeling down. I really think Youtiful is a masterpiece. Big thanks to Stray Kids for releasing such an amazing song like Youtiful. The lyrics are really beautiful, & I always get emotional when I hear it. I feel supported by Stray Kids whenever I listen to their voices. My favorite songs are Cover Me & Leave from the ROCK-STAR album. Also, I love Youtiful & Hall of Fame from the 5-STAR album. I’m always amazed watching Stray Kids perform Hall of Fame, eventho they always nail every song. But the energy they bring in Hall of Fame is just crazy. It's so incredible & addictive that I can replay that performance over & over again.
Ah, I think I’ll start listening to more of The Boyz's song now. Tbvh, I haven’t really heard many of their songs. Thank you for recommending some songs, Sia. Bite Back is so good, it’s def’ one of my favorite b-sides from their latest album. It’s a shame they don’t perform it much tho. I haven’t been able to see The Boyz do a Bite Back dance challenge w/ other groups. There are some, but I feel like there should be more, LOL. Idk most of their songs, but so far I really like Bite Back, Goodbye, & Thrill Ride.
I agree w/ you. It's such a shame that this site is shutting down next month. Thank you for respecting my decision & for never asking too much about me eventho I know you're curious. It really makes me feel like you respect my privacy & comfort. I appreciate that a lot, Sia. Ah, thank you so much, but tbvh, I think everyone deserves to be loved & cared for by others. Maybe you're getting this from me because you treat others w/ warmth. So, I believe this is just God's way of returning the good you've shown to others. I think your kindness to me is already more than enough because you're always sending me prayers. Thank you for your kind words. I really meant it.
What a cute TMI. I’m sorry if I kept you awake till 2 AM. I didn’t mean to do that. Before I go, I wanna give you another clue. I’ll make it clear.
I’m your ex-mutual, but I deactivated my account permanently. This happened long before you decided to not be active on your account. I don’t think we were close because as I remember, we never had intense or deep conversations, but I enjoyed seeing you talk about things on timeline because... you’re always so passionate about things. I actually find that really attractive. So, I think you're cool, & I find your opinions interesting. This made me realize we’re not the same. I’m not good at expressing my thoughts clearly. I like seeing that side of you, where you share your opinions on timeline because it makes you look cool. Eventho we never had deep conversations, your tweets would often show up on my timeline, & we’d sometimes interact in mentions, not private chats. Maybe we had a private chat once, but the topic was simple.
I noticed from some of your tweets that we have one thing in common. We both like the same group, but I feel like you became a fan of them way before I did. I realized this because I saw you tweet about how much you love one of their songs, Streetlight. I see how much you love the group & I think that’s great. I think because of that song I still remember you. W/o realizing it, I wanna support you. We have some things in common, being fans of the same group, & I’ve also gone through those stressful, depressive phases.
I really don’t wanna disturb your life. I feel like I might be seen as weird or annoying person. I’m sorry if I made you feel scared at some point. I didn’t mean that at all. Tbvh, I just wanna say I never had the intention to hurt you. If you were ever feeling sad, even when you decided to become less active on your account, I worried & wondered what was going on in your life that made you decide to do that. I was a bit shocked when I saw your profile close. It makes me sad to see you feeling hopeless. Finally, I decided to ask on Retrospring. Luckily, you're still active on Retrospring. Thank God. I’m really happy we got to talk for the first time here. Thank you, Sia. Please always remember that I’ll always support you & wish the best for your life. Even if I don’t send messages on Retrospring again, I hope you realize that many people care about you & are grateful for your presence in this world (re: please count me in).
Should I try to get Retrospring to change their mind & not shut down permanently? Jk, I have no power over that, LOL. Oh, & I’m not asking you to make an anonymous message account like Retrospring again. I have no right to ask or control you. What I mean is, you can decide what to do w/ your life because it’s your life. You can choose whatever you want, but if one day you decide to create an anonymous message account like Retrospring again, I hope you’ll put the link in your profile. Maybe one day, I’ll have some free time & stop by to say hello, give you encouragement, or just check on how you’re doing. Just remember, I’m not forcing you to create an anonymous message account like Retrospring. It’s your life, so you can do whatever you want.
Before I end this message, can I recommend a few songs to you? Here’s some songs I recommend for you. ATEEZ (One Day At A Time); Seventeen (Campfire, Kidult, Cheers To Youth); Stray Kids (Grow Up, Scars, Time Out); DAY6 (For Me); AKB48/JKT48 (365 Nichi no Kamihikouki). Sorry if any of these don’t match your taste, but I really hope you can read the lyrics of these songs. I love reading them because they’re so meaningful. I want you to feel motivated to live & chase your dreams. Sia, thank you so much for your time. I’m really glad I got to know you. I’m sorry if I made any mistakes & I know this message is super long. I’m sorry for the late reply. I hope that one day you’ll have the life you want. May God bless you w/ all the good things in the world.
oh hello again, dearest sender! i thought that last message was your final visit… um, my answer will always be the same. but this time, i think things have gotten worse. i still feel dizzy while writing this reply, so if it sounds weird or anything, just bear with me. anyway, i just heard the news that someone i know has passed away. unfortunately, this person was actually a really good person. but good people are always leave first, right? honestly, i’m still trying to process the news. it feels really weird because we can never predict what will happen in our lives. let alone the future.. even ten minutes from now, we have no idea what will happen. but you know what’s amazing? hmm, in don’t know if “amazing” is the right word, but the night i received the news was the same night you sent this message. a coincidence that made me cry twice as much. it felt like the perfect moment, like you showed up just when i needed it. are you sure you're not my guardian angel?
by the way, thank you! I love butterflies too! they’re such breathtaking creatures, a true masterpiece of God's creation. it’s bittersweet, though, how something so beautiful has only a short time to spread its wings and fly freely. isn't it sad? just when a butterfly can finally reveal its true self, its time in the world is already so short. but really, that's such a beautiful thought! i wish i could be like that butterfly. i don't know if you believe in astrology or anything like that, but i found out that 2025 is supposed to be my year to bounce back! apparently, i’m on the path of arcana 7. they say that if i stay in a positive state, there will be so many things i can achieve. i’m trying to stay optimistic, at the very least, that’s something i can hold on to. but unfortunately, this month, i feel like i'm barely surviving. not to be dramatic, but maybe this is my end, sender…
OHH i swear it must be fun, huh? sunflowers are my favorite flowers! i think if i remember correctly, some people from my old ca even described me as a sunflower. cool, right? indeed beautiful. the last time i went to a sunflower garden was when i attended the Van Gogh exhibition! but i forgot whether the flowers were real or not lol. i hope i can visit a real sunflower garden one day! it must be such a beautiful and fun experience to see so many sunflowers in full bloom. thank you, really. i didn't expect you to receive my energy so well, so perfectly, even. i'm really happy to have met you and to be able to talk to you like this. even though i don’t know who you are (sorry again). thank you for your spark of enthusiasm! seriously, you always manage to ignite that spark in me. i’ll try my best.. hopefully, i can bloom like a sunflower too.
lately, i've been trying to prioritize myself, but i feel like i come off as ignorant and selfish. maybe my approach is wrong. i also feel guilty when i don't have the time to help the people around me. even though i want to, for some reason, i just can’t. and that actually makes me anxious? because i believe that every good deed i do will be repaid tenfold by God. but since i can’t do anything right now, i feel uneasy lol. hopefully, after this, i’ll gain some kind of superpower, so i can take care of myself and still help the people around me at the same time.
ohhh, i’m glad to hear that! virgos are so cool, just like you! (no wonder.) by the way, tmi i have a childhood friend aka my dorothea, and she’s also a virgo. i don’t know why, but every time i meet a virgo, i always feel like they have a soft side and an aura that makes people feel comfortable around them. maybe i’m just influenced by my old friend? or maybe it’s because my moon is also in virgo, so i kind of get it and feel that way. but not entirely. still, every virgo i know is like that! plus, so many of my favorite idols are virgos (lovingly).
ahahaha, nooooo. he doesn’t need to worry! i’ll help take care of the boyz. i’m willing to be their soldier. i hope so! if possible, you should come along to watch the boyz because they’re so cool!!!
pfttt, i don’t mean to sound overconfident, but i actually know i’m good at storytelling. i think i have a unique way of making stories engaging? my friends also say that whenever i tell a story, it becomes exciting because of my energy and the way i use words. i like to be funny and expressive. SORRY IF I SOUND OVERCONFIDENT.
seriously, i felt like i was going to faint when i saw felix. felix isn’t human—he’s an angel. aaaaaaa yeah, i’m really sad. for the past few days, i’ve been confused and didn’t know what to do. not exaggerating, but he’s my loml… yk it’s heartbreaking to see my loml in pain </3. i hope he recovers soon. felix is such a strong person (saying like i know him personally lol). but i know he will definitely get better and perform like before! i can’t imagine yk… when i watched the live fanmeet on the third day while felix was resting and sick, i was so sad. but thank you for praying for my loml <3!
indeed, bruh. they always give their best. if you’ve ever watched their kingdom performances, they were freaking amazing ngl. IKR! i feel so proud whenever i see 3RACHA's names on that top 10 producer list. like damnnnnn. right, it’s all about timing. hopefully, you and i will also find our moment to shine! this world needs both of us too!
it’s okay! in my opinion changbin is bigger. i don’t know, though, since i didn’t measure him directly hehe. but yes, changbin is so precious! his personality is so intense yet warm—like fire, a campfire. of course, that represents of the group hahaha. he’s also super friendly, yk he has a lot of friends. you must be know about the '99 liners’ friendship group in k-pop? changbin is part of it. the 99l group is so fun, i wish i could join.. by the way, thank you for praising changbin! if he read this, he’d be so happy!!!
oh, really??? that’s great. and yep, that’s felix’s voice if you’re talking about 3:00–3:08! the second person who said the same lyrics was bangchan anyway. whoa…i guess we did have the same taste! those are such comforting songs. it feels like they’re hugging us, don’t you think? youtiful is on another level of comfort song. and hall of fame! that song is amazing, especially as an encore. too bad they didn’t sing it back then. i guess not everyone understands stray kids' energy like we do? i feel bad for people who don’t like skz songs.
it’s okay! though the boyz is pretty big in south korea, their popularity is kinda, yk… maybe it’s because they’re not from a big agency. but thanks to road to kingdom! that survival show really helped the boyz gain the popularity they deserved. umm, maybe they released that song too close to or during their world tour agenda, so. anyway, you have great taste! thrill ride is such a good summer song. i remember really loving that song back then.
honestly, i'm trying my best to hold back my curiosity lol. i tend to be very curious and overthink a lot if i don’t get an answer immediately, maybe because i have mercury in scorpio. but i did it! i respect your boundaries and privacy. i just want to do whatever makes you comfortable. OMG.. that’s really kind of you. thank you so much. so this is my good karma, right? thank God! thank you for saying that. even though it’s probably not enough and doesn’t equal the kindness you’ve given me, i hope it still makes you happy and puts a smile on your face.
SCREAMING. what a precious and important clue! but I have to be honest, i still can't remember (MY BAD, CRIES). i guess the antidepressants i take made me lose some memories, or at least, that’s what other people say about these meds. but the clues are very helpful, to be honest. since you deactivated your account long ago, that means i can’t even track any mentions or private messages, right? even when i checked my old telegram, i found nothing. my head hurts. maybe i'm just stupid dawg. WHAT A SHAME, SIA.
tbh, i laughed when you said that about me… i was so passionate about talking openly and throwing out my honest thoughts about things, right? that’s crazy. for some people, i might seem annoying. but no worries, if you think what i did was cool, i’m still doing it anyway. i don’t really care what people think about me and my opinions because, to me, what i say is always right! at least for me lmao. if they find me annoying, maybe they just can't handle the truth, no?
i think i talked a lot about streetlight back then? i mean, i can't help it… that song really had a big impact on me. it’s basically about me?!?! i relate to that song way too much. thank you for remembering me for that! i love hearing it so much! i'm so glad we both stan the same group. i always love it when someone loves the same group as i do because that means we can be good friends.
oh no.. i'm so sorry about that. you're so amazing, you know that? still being here, spreading kindness and happiness to others despite your own struggles. i hope you'll always be happy. like i always say, you deserve happiness, and i genuinely hope you're surrounded by it wherever you go. <3
no, it’s actually not weird at all, and you're not disturbing me in the slightest. if anything, i feel bad because you keep spending your energy writing all these beautiful words for me. i appreciate it more than you know. i'm sorry i wasn’t able to tell you in person when i decided to close that account. honestly, i didn’t expect this.. you knowing about it. i was just checking my retrospring account, and suddenly, there was an interesting question that popped up. i’m glad it was you!
thank you so much for your support. this is beyond anything i could have ever imagined. the fact that you still remember my account even after deactivating really touches my heart. i never expected or realized that i left that kind of mark on you. i'm just an ordinary person in this big world, but you make me feel beyond special. thank you so much!!!
hahaha got it! i actually already made a neospring account, but i haven’t really used it yet. i’m not sure if people will actually switch to it instead of other alternatives to replace retrospring. but sure, if i finally make another anonymous message account, i’ll put it in my bio. i hope you still remember my twitter account though lol. but if you don’t, my username is probably just (dearpoetsociety), that’s my trademark, yk besides streetlight hehe. i’d be so happy and honored if you came to visit and said hello! i’d probably mark it on my calendar as the best day of the year.
anyway, that’s crazy.. because some of the songs you recommended are actually my favorites! one day at a time by ateez used to be my number one favorite, well, maybe turbulence kinda has taken that spot now. but seriously, that song was my only friend and motivation when i was struggling to meet deadlines back then. WOW HOLY MOLY THIS IS AMAZING. you have such great taste! i can say these are my favs, except for AKB48/JKT48 since i don’t really listen to them. but i will check out that song now! thank you so much for your recommendations! God.. this is such a beautiful way to end this message. just know that you never made any mistakes! God, reading the final sentence and writing this reply really feels like a breakup lol. but again, i can’t thank you enough for all these good memories! i hope only the best things happen to you. you deserve the most wonderful life God could ever create for anyone in this world. until we meet again, GOODBYE! (no one ever says goodbye unless they want to see you again. that’s my favorite quote from one of my favorite books by John Green, by the way! hehe) :D
